Grace notes

O bind my thankful heart to Thee

And reign without a rival there

~~from

"Jesus, Thy Boundless Love to Me"

Paul Gerhardt and John Wesley

The nice thing about insomnia is that you're wide awake when it happens.

Well, it's late and sleep hasn't come, so perhaps I should try and write myself to sleep. It's definitely more productive than a sleeping pill and doesn't leave me with a morning hangover.

We're taking a few days off from school and it's feeling very good. I'm spending the time on a list of tasks that seem to get pushed to the back burner during the school year: streamlining the money chores, cleaning appliances, taking surveys of fall clothing needs, helping the girls make decisions about how they want to redo their rooms, reorganizing the pantry and working on new menus. You know, the things you're always going to do "next week." So this is the week, and I'm about a third of the way down my list. After Labor Day, when all the new co-op classes and fall activities start, my list better be finished or it will sit there undone until Christmas break. And you know how fast Christmas break goes!

CJ came over today (boy, does that sound strange) and crawled in our bed and took a nap. Then after going back to school for one more class, she came in and cooked dinner for us. Almost like she still lived here. Very nice.

Watched a DVD tonight, "Map of the World" with Sigourney Weaver and Julianne Moore. Very strangely made. . . I'll bet the book was much better. A story any mother could relate to.

So. . . .nothing important to say tonight. . .I'm enjoying the quiet house but sure miss Kristen and Dave and the little elves. . .

Grace notes

Change and decay in all around I see:

O Thou Who changest not,

abide with me

~~from "Abide with Me"

Henry F. Lyte

On the dark side. . .

Late tonight, my cousin called my attention to a Peggy Noonan piece that I had missed on Thursday. There aren't too many writers who can make me totally rethink a position on something as important as our national security. . .but then there's only one Noonan. Sometimes when I read her I feel I should take my shoes off. . .

To MollyWarrenHenryCarrie, who are playing at the beach and are very much missed. . .

ghosts
of small voices
inhabit my halls

they beckon
playmates
to scurry
pillar to post
above my head

outlines of elves
scamper up stairs
breathless
noiseless

does no one hear
but me?

If ever I would leave you. . .

98. 99. 102. 100. 98. 100. 101.

I shouldn't have looked.

It's the 7-day forecast for our city...and by the end of August the numbers have been so steady that there's almost no point in checking. While most of the rest of the country is sniffing the air for the first whiff of fall, we're on water restrictions and looking at crunchy lawns and wondering why there are sweaters at Target.

I know, I know...no surprise in south Texas. But for those of us who live here for the sake of jobs or family and not for the weather, it can be discouraging and draining and, well, just plain annoying. I'll try not to complain any more. I've ordered my Christmas cards (thank you Lyric) and I'm dreaming of a.....less brown Christmas.

The Blessing

When the girls (all girls so far but not for long) leave our home, John writes and reads them a blessing. . .really a combination of blessing and exhortation. Last night was CJ's turn, and this is what John read to her with sixty people looking on. . .

*******************************
Dearest CJ,

This is the blessing for you as you begin the next part of the journey of becoming the young woman God would have you be.

The Lord bless you and keep you. May He ever guide your steps, your thoughts, your prayers.
Be steadfast in the faith. Be gracious in spirit. Be diligent in your work.

Remember what you were taught in word and in deed, and apply your heart to know Christ more each day.

Guard your heart as you wait for that young man the Lord is preparing for you. Remain pure in thought and in body as you wait.

We offer up this blessing to the One who called you to be His and will keep you all the days of your life.

The Lord make His face to shine upon you. The Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.

Fifty ways to leave your. . .family

You shoulda been here last night (oh wait, most of you were!). It was a wonderful time of celebration of CJ's life, old and new. I don't know how many people were stuffed into our family room, but that's probably about as many as we've ever had at one time. . . a true testament to how much this young lady is loved and admired by everyone who knows her.

For those of you who weren't with us, we spent a couple of hours sharing housewarming gifts, funny stories about CJ, lots of hugs, and MILLIONS of cookies. It was rumored that some had come just for the cookies, but they were mostly under 10 and were just as welcome as everyone else.

John had, of course, written CJ a blessing for her time of leaving home, and there was at that very moment a cloud of smoke passing through the room. . .must have been, because everyone's eyes seemed to be watering at the same time :-)

So. . .the move is nearly complete. Most of CJ's belongings are already gone, and as soon as the air conditioner and ceiling fans are installed in her apartment she'll complete the transition. She now has some lovely new sheets, towels, kitchen utensils, picture frames, etc. to put away and begin making her little home. While we are sad to see her go, we are proud beyond words of the young woman she is and we send her off with our blessing and with prayers of gratitude for all the years behind and ahead. . .

Grace notes

I have an incurable love not just for old hymns, but specifically for the exquisite poetry in the lyrics. So many of them are being lost in dusty hymnbooks and seldom ring out in worship, much less linger in our minds in ways that enrich our existence. From time to time I'll post some of my favorites, lines that make me think and that give the symphony a voice. . .

Here's one that's had particularly vivid meaning for me in the past four years. . .

Heav'n above is softer blue

Earth around is sweeter green!

Something lives in ev'ry hue

Christless eyes have never seen

a love that will not let me go

O Joy that seekest me through pain

I cannot close my heart to thee

I trace the rainbow through the rain

And feel the promise is not vain

That morn shall tearless be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. . .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR KRISTEN,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

So it was 29 years ago that I wrapped you in two blankets and brought you outside of the hospital at Carswell AFB into 105 degree heat. (It didn't matter HOW hot it was, you wrapped babies up in blankets for their own good!) No car seats then--I carried you home in my arms and could hardly believe that God was going to let me do motherhood a second time. Never mind that a few months later I couldn't believe it for different reasons LOL. . .you were and are a treasure to me and to our whole family. Thank you for all the ways you bless us and the way your life honors the Father.

Enjoy this 29th and prepare to enjoy it again next year :-)

Reality check

How frustrating that we can send money, medicine, manpower. . .but we have no power on our own to bring meaning to life and loss. . .

BANGKOK (Reuters) - With Asian tourists still shunning its southern beaches, Thailand is calling in a revered Chinese sea goddess to ward off the restive spirits of the thousands who died in last December's tsunami.

A statue of Godmother Ruby, known as Mazu in Chinese, will be brought to the Thai island of Phuket from the Chinese coastal province of Fujian next month for ghost-clearing rites, said Suwalai Pinpradab of the Tourism Authority of Thailand.

"After the tsunami, Taiwanese, Hong Kong, Chinese and other East Asians dare not come because they don't want to visit places where mass deaths took place," Suwalai told Reuters on Friday. "It is inauspicious."

Mazu, a Taoist goddess of the sea, has a huge following among fishermen and shipworkers in coastal provinces of southern China and Taiwan.

May we never continue doing one without praying for the other.

Friday, Week 2.

We're finishing up our second week of our 21st year of homeschooling. So far, we've had a few good days, one or two near perfect ones, and a couple of those that come every so often where I look up and think, "Remind me why we're doing this?"

And then there are the moments that wash over me as I remember that I have no more little ones to teach. . .at least not ones for whom I bear the primary responsibility. I'll never again teach a first-grader to read, never explain long division to a third-grader, never hold the hand of a little one trying to write a "B" between the lines. . . .There's a sadness there, and yet a sense of completion as I teach each "grade" for the last time. An experience with a true taste of the bitter and the sweet all in one mouthful.

Adding, though, to the "sweet" is the fact that already two of my daughters, homeschooled themselves and so fully aware of the joys AND the pitfalls, have given me the opportunity to walk alongside them as they begin the strenuous journey of teaching their little ones. Good thing, too, because there are some things I feel like I'm just now, in my third decade on this road, getting good at! I'm glad they're not letting my experiences go to waste. What a joy to see them setting their faces toward the same goals that we did and walking straight toward those goals, even on the "Remind me?" days. And what a privilege to help them as we go. . .sharing books, sharing ideas about how to teach multiplication tables, sharing field trips and co-ops, sharing the exhaustion that is part and parcel of this life.

So. . .this week I praise and seek help from

O God, our help in ages past,

Our hope for years to come. . .

O make me Thine forever. . .

And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never, never
Outlive my love to Thee

a milestone!

Baby Erin Welty, grandchild #11, cut her first tooth today, coming in at just under five months. She is obviously NOT a Slaughter baby!

No good answers

I am heartbroken waking to scenes of the forcible removal of settlers in the Gaza strip. The irony of Jews evacuating Jews is surreal, and the agony can be seen in many of the faces of the soldiers doing the evacuating. It's a conflict where there are no good guy or bad guys--except for the Palestinians screaming from the distance that they have been victorious by killing so many Jews. Now they are claiming that they will kill enough Jews to take back Jerusalem. I'm afraid that, contrary to the intent of the Israeli government, this pullout will have the effect of increasing the violence rather than decreasing it. We'll be seeing more bus bombings and stonings and grenades in the market places as the terrorist Palestinians are emboldened by what they see as Israeli weakness. In the meantime, patriotic Jews who took great personal risk for their country in order to move to the dangerous Gaza strip are now being treated as encroachers and criminals, leaving behind their homes and gardens and businesses and neighborhoods that they lovingly built over many years. Little did they know that the children of their friends would don army uniforms and drag them away twenty years later. Tragic.

The melancholy sets in. . .

This week, John and I face an event which, no matter how many times we encounter it, never fails to bring on the blues. . .

This weekend CJ will move from our home and move in to her new residence--a small apartment in the home of the family for whom she works. She'll have her own bathroom, small kitchen, and two rooms at the top of a lovely old Victorian home in the historic King William district of San Antonio, with a private balcony overlooking the San Antonio River. The situation is wonderful. . . .perfect for her job, study needs, etc., and perfect for her host family, having her on the premises so her hours can be as flexible as they all desire.

It's very satisfying to see her begin this new season of life. It's a gentle beginning: she will be just 45 minutes away; she'll live with and work for a Christian homeschooling family of five, doing all the domestic things she loves and is so good at doing; she'll still be around for our famous Family Dinner Nights and other important occasions, as well as just being able to drop in whenever she feels like it. So it's not as traumatic as if she were getting on a plane to another continent--we've known that trauma before! But still, it brings on all the melancholy and introspection that come with the ending of one portion of our parental responsibilities. And if you know CJ, you know that her leaving our household, no matter how many people live here, will leave a gaping hole. There's no one like her. Her steadiness, her dry wit, her capable hands, her thoughtful conversation, her way with the little ones, all will be deeply missed. That said, there's no one more ready to move into this next season than she, and her whole family recognizes that. She has proven herself not only responsible and capable, but she's also exhibited a servant's heart that is unmatched. For those reasons, she makes these changes with our blessings and support and even applause. . . and misty eyes.

It's morning again in Crawford.

So. . .is anyone else around here getting tired of Cindy Sheehan? Can we just buy the woman a ticket back home and start her IRS audit? Sheesh. . .I'm having painful flashbacks to the 60's and they're not being caused by hallucinogenic drugs!

one not to miss

if you have the slightest interest in history or human nature, don't miss the movie "Downfall". don't be scared off by the subtitles. . .it's by far the best subtitled movie i've ever seen and one of the top twenty of any movie i've seen, for that matter. thanks to kristen for recommending it! next on my list--"the beautiful country."

the first few measures. . .

welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere, where i will share some grace notes of the symphony with family and friends. whether this ends up being more of a journal, or op-ed station, or photo gallery, or soapbox, or all of the above, you are welcome to pop in anytime and read and leave me a note!

most of you who are likely to pop in already know enough about me that i won't bother with any more introduction than is in my profile. if you've been invited here and don't know what i'm all about, feel free to leave a question. . .i'm always better at answering questions than i am at coming up with my own narrative :-)

so come back often. i hope you'll find something informative, provocative, refreshing, amusing, and most of all, may each word glorify God the Father!