The Warrens are home!

The Warrens are home.

And despite the implications of the above picture, we had a wonderful time together!

Oh, there were challenges, but the Warrens are overcomers! Neither heat, nor mountains, nor rapids, nor food poisoning, nor sore feet, nor leaking ice chests could deter our desire for adventure and family togetherness!

We weren't out of the driveway before we were REALLY glad that Bethany had flown out ahead of us. Seven grownup-sized bodies and all their stuff (CJ, why do you think you MUST bring your featherbed??) were shoehorned in so tightly that we had to allow fifteen minutes for getting back into the car after a rest stop: musical chairs meant shifting everyone's personal stuff, because of course you can't let anyone else touch your pillow or your CDs or your backpack, so you have to practically hire a moving company to get from the middle seats to the back. And invariably someone was mad because something they absolutely HAD to have right this minute was in the back, somewhere between the basketball goal and the 55 books I was taking to Kristen. (Hey, do you know how much it would cost to MAIL those books? This was a bargain! Never mind that to get them in we had to leave behind the biggest ice chest which would have allowed us to pack lunches and so we had to spend a few more dollars in restaurants than we would have otherwise, I'm not thinking about that part.)

Along the way, we discovered several things and learned a few lessons...

Ever looking for opportunities to learn, even on the road, and knowing that we would be taking a field trip to our nation's capital, I whipped out a cherished history book and began to read:

THE AGE OF EXPLORATION

When Columbus returned to Spain with the news of his discovery, everybody became very excited and decided to have an Age of Exploration. Immediately, a great many bold adventurers--Magellan, da Gama, de Soto, Chrysler, Picasso, and others--set forth on Voyages of Discovery, only to have their ships bang into
each other and sink at the harbor entrance. But they boldly set out again, this
time in alphabetical order, and soon they had made some important discoveries,
the most important one being that what Columbus had discovered was not India at all, but America, which explained why the inhabitants were called, "Native
Americans." In Mexico and South America, the Spanish also discovered highly
advanced civilizations, which they wisely elected to convert into ruins for use
as future tourist attractions.

Okay wait...that doesn't sound right! Flipping over a few pages, I try again:

THE CAUSES OF INTERNATIONAL TENSION

The major cause of international tension was Europe, which in those days was
made up of the Five (or possibly Six) Major Powers: Great Britain, France,
Russia, Germany, The Ottomans, the Barca-Loungers, and the Austro-Hungarian
Empire, an alliance between Australia and Hungary that was not really all that
major a power but was allowed to participate in international tension anyway
because it had some pretty good restaurants. These powers had spent roughly the
past thousand years trying to see who could set the land speed record for
breaking treaties with each other, and....

OKAY...WHO put this copy of Dave Barry Slept Here inside the cover of Bob Jones American History for Christian Schools ? And how did you do that, anyway?? Don't you know what happens to boys and girls who deface textbooks?

All right, well how about if we have a little math and science lesson. Girls, help me figure this out. The ratio of females to males in this very crowded vehicle is 3:4. How come the ratio of female to male LVC (liquid volume capacity, if you know what I mean) is more like 25:1, huh? And didn't we just stop 40 minutes ago? Let's see....okay, If seven people, three girls and four boys, are traveling 65 mph on the interstate and they stop every 40 minutes so the boys can go to the bathroom and every four hours for the girls to go, how long will it take them to get from San Antonio to Nashville, assuming the gas tank lasts longer than the other tanks?

Math was not a big hit with 4/7 of our group, so we moved on to fine arts appreciation. Except that was pretty much of a bust, too, since we had so many Walkmans and DVD players and laptops and other things with wires and headphones that everyone was always doing his/her own thing and there was very little appreciation for each other's movies and especially each other's music.

"Nathan, what IS that scratching noise?"

"Mom, it's just the best band ever...you know, the one with the four guys in grungy clothes and funny hair and earrings and mascara that sing that great Christian music!"

"Oh yeah, that one. Well Nathan, if I can hear the scratching, er, I mean music with your headphones on, that means it's up way too loud and I can't hear the REAL music on the radio. And that can't be good for your ears!"

"Sigh..."

And then there was P. E.

Yes, P. E. Gymastics, to be exact. Now this might be hard to explain, but my kids are natural-born gymnasts, perhaps even contortionists, with Olympic possibilities! I didn't realize this until the car trip! But when I would hear one of them complaining about how another one had his knee in her face and her elbow in his ear and his foot pushing the other one's back, I was stunned at the flexibility and the sheer athletic ability that these moves took! No ordinary kids, these. No, these are young people with bright futures on the mats and the bars and the rings!

Oh, and do you know what happens to banana bread in a ziploc bag that's been forgotten for 15 days? Okay, well never mind...

Yep...life's a symphony all right. We made some beautiful music together. It's one for the memory books.

[disclaimer: MOST of the above events actually took place. Some will be saved for the next road trip.]